How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
