dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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