....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
