You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize