And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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