brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
