i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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