He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Randomize
