would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
No subtext here. People are naked.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
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