What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
