Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
You smell like stripper and shame
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
