Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Rumble strips road head = magical
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
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