by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize