First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
