idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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