there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
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