when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
