Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize