We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
