i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
