I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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