what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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