i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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