just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
