...so i touched it.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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