I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
can u get pink eye on your cock?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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