It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
