Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
It's Friday. Sex?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
