you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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