I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
