on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
These tits shall not be calmed
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize
