Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
