i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
