I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Terrible idea I love it
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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