whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize