Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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