I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
