When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
