I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
