a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
