Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
