I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
