So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
