I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
