Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
