so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
