We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
