This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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