My Higher Power is John Stamos
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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