I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
