Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
