you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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