i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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