I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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