so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
