You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
