Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Two words: nipple clamps
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