I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
