I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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