This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
