I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
