..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
