the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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