When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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