One girl and one boy is just not enough.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
