End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
