I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
