We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
