3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize
