I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
