Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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