i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I need to stop coming to work sober
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Bring me that man meat
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
