Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
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